A Time to Remember, a Time to Forget (part 2) – Ki Tavo
וענית ואמרת לפני ה' א-לקיך ארמי אבד אבי וירד מצרימה ויגר שם במתי מעט ויהי שם לגוי גדול עצום ורב (דברים כו, ה).
In the time of the Mikdash, there was a mitzvah to bring Bikkurim. The mitzvah was incumbent on anyone who had at least two trees (of the Seven Species) in their possession. When the fruit started to form on the tree the owner would mark two of the choicest fruit with a גמי (some kind of rubber band or thread – גמי is rashei teivot for גדולים מעשי ה') and designate them as Bikkurim. When they had ripened, he would put the designated fruit in a basket and take them to the Mikdash in Yerushalayim, in the period between Shavuot and Sukkot. It was a few days journey by foot, but a joyous one accompanied by much celebration, which culminated in giving the Bikkurim to the Kohanim and reciting a text in front of the Mizbeach.
The text seems a little odd for the occasion. It is a trip down memory lane, starting with Yaakov living with Lavan and retracing our history until the present.
Last week, we spoke about forgetting and its awesome power in combatting the יצר הרע and overcoming trauma. שכחה appears in כי תצא, which is symbolic of leaving the יצר הרע and our traumas behind us to start anew. The flip side to the coin, remembering, appears at the beginning of כי תבוא. To successfully arrive at our required destination requires us to remember.
The entire Torah is structured around us constantly remembering our Creator. Brit Milah, Tfilin, Tzitzit, Mezuzah, Kisui Rosh, these are but a few of constant reminders. Two weeks ago we read how a king has to carry a Sefer Torah around with him as a constant reminder of Hashem. שויתי ה' לנגדי תמיד. Chazal say that someone who carries a mental picture of HKB”H constantly in their mind, will never sin. From the moment we awake in the morning to the moment we close our eyes at night, we must have HKB”H constantly in our consciousness. This is like a slave who has not a waking moment go by without the reality of his master filling his every living breath and we are עבדים לה'. As it says in parshat Eikev –
את ה' א-לקיך תירא אתו תעבד ובו תדבק ובשמו תשבע (דברים י, כ)
We are fast approaching Rosh Hashana and this Motzei Shabbat the Ashkenazim will begin saying Selichot (the Sefardim have been already since Rosh Chodesh Elul). It is a time to reflect and remember, not necessarily what happened way back when, in the time of the Mikdash, but just a few months ago in the past year.
I think for the first time when reciting ונתנה תוקף this coming Rosh Hashana, we will truly be able to understand what it means when it says וכל באי עולם יעברון לפניך כבני מרון. In Masechet Rosh Hashana (18a), Reish Lakish explains - ריש לקיש אמר כמעלות בית מֵרון, which Rashi there explains as a narrow path on which two people cannot stand next to each other as the valley is steep on both sides.
Who can forget the horrific scenes of מעלות בית מֵרון this past Lag Ba’Omer where 45 people tragically lost their lives and we were left asking "מה" ה' א-לקיך שואל מעמך?. HKB”H provided us with a sobering, vivid mental image of what in fact takes place every Rosh Hashana as we pack together and file before Him in judgment. Some emerge on the other side and others do not.
We are approaching our second COVID-19 Rosh Hashana and as it currently appears, we will once again be “evicted’ from our shuls, our מקדש מעט and forced to daven in the streets and the courtyards.
Just a few short months ago we thought we were seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. The shuls reopened, the children were allowed back in, we were allowed to remove our masks and everything seemed to be getting back to normal. Then suddenly WHAM! along comes the “delta” variant and everything is back to square one. While “delta”, more virulent than the original strain, is wreaking havoc around the world, the next variant – “lambda” is waiting in line and the delta is apparently “mild” compared to it רחמנא ליצלן.
קוביד-19 in gematria is "סין הודו" and "א-לקי המלך"
דלתא in gematria is "לָבֵשׁ ה' עֹז" and "שינוי בגדים".
למדא in gematria is "הנה זה בא" and "גיוון".
Either we are going to wise up and internalize what it is HKB”H is trying to tell us, or He is simply going to “change clothes” and appear to us in another variation, making us suffer in the interim, until we finally “get it” (I don’t mean contract the disease חו"ח, I mean - understand the message).
It appears that HKB”H is no longer leaving it up to us to create our own mental images of Him, but is vividly creating the images for us.
Forget about COVID-19! In the last two years the entire world no longer has a concept of “normal”. In fact the new “normal” means that everything is upside down. Heat waves in Canada, flooding in Germany, rain on the glaciers in Greenland. You can say it is all because of “global warming” and a hundred other reasons, but that is the answer of Amalek – מקרה הוא. As devout Jews, we are supposed to see beyond that and recognize a guiding finger behind it all. And it is not hard to recognize because it is “in your face”! You do not have to dig deep to notice it.
HKB”H is clearly saying to the world and specifically to us – HERE I AM!
The question is why?
Unfortunately our powers of נבואה ceased just prior to the 2nd Mikdash, so nobody today can say with certainty why, it is all best guess. However, anyone שעיניו בראשו can deduct by simple logic and draw the necessary conclusions, you don’t need a נביא.
If Hashem is saying “Here I am – remember me?” it means that there is a need for that and it is because we are not conscious enough of HKB”H in our lives, if we were – we would not need reminding!
If we look at how our lives have changed in the last two years since this apocalyptic turn of events began, we can discern certain patterns –
Everyone can surmise to themselves why we are forced to cover our faces with masks, so that we cannot see each other’s mouths speaking or smiling. We only hear each other through muffled sound. Those who contracted Corona have symptoms affecting the senses of taste and smell.
In what did we fail that brought this about? Was it because we failed to smile at each other? Speak to each other the right way? Anyone שעיניו בראשו (which are so far uncovered) will understand that we need to cheshbon nefesh about everything connected to the mouth, what we put in our mouths as well as what comes out of them. לשון הרע, זלזול הורים ומורים, not saying brachot before and after eating, or not saying them with the right כוונה, similarly with our tefilot.
The Mefarshim say that trouble with parnasa usually occurs because we do not know how to adequately say thank you. Perhaps we had it really good, but did not show enough hakarat hatov, so HKB”H took it away temporarily to teach us gratitude.
When our shuls cannot tolerate our presence, we need to ask ourselves, have we shown enough כבוד to our shuls? Do we have enough מורא מקדש in our own מקדש מעט? or do we treat our shul like a “country club” with דברי חולין? Similarly in the yeshivot.
As we repeatedly experience lockdowns and isolation we must question why HKB”H is not allowing us to congregate? Perhaps because we did not have enough respect for one another to warrant each other’s company. Perhaps we congregated for the wrong reasons, not in the service of Hashem?
And how many people have tragically lost their lives? Parents, grandparents and even children, who if not for COVID-19 would have merited sharing many more precious years together with their families. How many lives have been cut short? How many potential moments of joy with loved ones lost?
If HKB”H is unmistakably saying to us “Here I am! remember Me!” – it can only be because we are not conscious of Him enough in our daily lives, so He needs to remind us – vividly and even violently!
When you read the horrendous קללות in this week’s parsha that Hashem warns us will afflict us if we fail to adhere to his commandments, we can actually breathe a sigh of relief, because the hardships we are currently experiencing are nothing compared to them. But we need to remember that Hashem does not wreak these catastrophic curses on us suddenly, just out of the blue, they gradually build in intensity as long as we continue down the wrong path. A person first gets צרעת הבגד when he speaks לשון הרע. If he “wises up” and mends his ways, it ends there, but if not, it continues with צרעת הבית and then with צרעת הגוף. We can see that COVID-19 is already increasing in severity, with each subsequent variant. Each time HKB”H “changes clothes” and adopts a more severe posture. We have the power to stop it right here and now and not allow it to spiral out of control until it reaches the stage of the קללות in our parsha חו"ח.
As we approach the last stretch before Rosh Hashana, we need to do cheshbon nefesh, collectively and individually, trying to find ways to make HKB”H increasingly part of our consciousness. Our יצר הרע works overtime trying to find ways to make us forget HKB”H, creating dissention, disunity and despair. Our job is to turn the tables on the יצר הרע, and davka forget about him, while increasingly remembering HKB”H in our lives. It is not simple, it takes constant effort.
We are currently witnessing unprecedented, overt גילויי שכינה all around us, every day and davka we, who have sensitivity of neshama, cannot ignore them. They should be shaking us out of a stupor and spurring us on to become better people, within ourselves, towards others and especially towards HKB”H.
עורו ישינים משנתכם ונרדמים הקיצו מתרדמתכם וחפשו במעשיכם וחזרו בתשובה וזכרו בוראכם (רמב"ם, הלכות תשובה ג, ד).
It begins with simply kissing the mezuzah, stepping out of your door or onto the veranda, looking up at the deep blue sky, the color of the כסא הכבוד and taking a deep breath of air with no masks and saying מודה אני לפניך. It begins with making a concerted effort to smile at your family in the morning, despite all your aches and pains. It begins with greeting people בסבר פנים יפות as you pass them in the street and when you meet them at shul or work. It begins with entering the בית כנסת with awe and כבוד as if you were walking into the Beit Mikdash. It begins with husbands and wives smiling at each other when they return home from work, despite all the worries and stresses that plagued them throughout the day. It begins by allocating time every day, each according to their own limitations and inclinations, to study Torah, whether it is Parshat Hashavua, Tanach, Mishnayot, Gemara, Mussar, etc.
This is how it begins, with the small things like gratitude (e.g. the mitzvah of Bikkurim) and with persistence, incrementally increasing our awareness of HKB”H with the ultimate aim of achieving total consciousness of HKB”H in every waking moment of our lives.
This should be our new year’s resolution – to notice all the “subtle hints” that HKB”H is sending us and say “I remember You Hashem!” If we remember HKB”H and express our gratitude, He will remember us זכרתי לך חסד נעוריך and will sign and seal us for a blessed year, a year of health for Am Yisrael and the entire world, a year of parnasa beshefa, a year of achdut in Am Yisrael, a year that will herald the Geulah, and all the curses of this past year will be forgotten.
