A Time to Remember, a Time to Forget (part 1) - Ki Teitzei
Parshat Ki Teitzei has the largest number of mitzvot than any other parsha in the Torah, seventy four! , in gematria עֵד. According to the Or HaChayim and other Mefarshim, the fact that we read this series of parshiyot, including Ki Teitzei, in the weeks prior to Rosh Hashana is not incidental and everything in them has some important message to convey regarding tshuva and the ימים נוראים.
This week I would like to concentrate on one of the myriad mitzvot in the parsha, one that is easily overlooked, but that harbors a monumental life lesson (besides the fact that it is also related to grains and bread, my pet subject).
The vast majority of the Torah, in fact 99.99% of it, is concerned with remembering. Remembering our Exodus from Egypt, remembering the merit of our forefathers, and at the end of our parsha – remembering what Amalek did to us. Memory is such an integral feature of our emunah, because it grounds us – it constantly reminds us from whence we came and in which direction we are headed.
There is however one mitzvah in the Torah, only one, which is the antithesis to remembering, in this week’s parsha –
כִּי תִקְצֹר קְצִירְךָ בְשָׂדֶךָ וְשָׁכַחְתָּ עֹמֶר בַּשָּׂדֶה לֹא תָשׁוּב לְקַחְתּוֹ לַגֵּר לַיָּתוֹם וְלָאַלְמָנָה יִהְיֶה לְמַעַן יְבָרֶכְךָ ה' אֱ-לֹקֶיךָ בְּכֹל מַעֲשֵׂה יָדֶיךָ (דברים כד, יט).
The mitzvah of שכחה is one of the five mitzvot of מתנות עניים, giving gifts to the poor from our harvested crops – לקט, פאה, שכחה, פֶּרֶט, עוללות. In this mitzvah, we are commanded that if we forget a sheaf of wheat in our field after the harvest, we must not return to retrieve it, but rather leave it for the less fortunate.
שכחה is unique amongst the מצוות עשה in that it is not allowed to be performed with kavanah. As we know, mitzvot require kavanah מלכתחילה, but if someone performs a mitzvah without kavanah, בדיעבד he/she is יוצא. The only mitzvah in the Torah that if someone has kavanah to perform it, it disqualifies the mitzvah - is שכחה. The very premise upon which שכחה is based is that a person unintentionally forgets a sheaf of wheat in his field. If someone has prior kavanah to forget the sheaf then it is not “forgetting” - it is premeditated. The only way to fulfill the mitzvah is if someone truly and honestly forgot the sheaf and then he suddenly remembers – the passuk commands us to not return to retrieve it, but to leave it for the poor.
What is so special about this mitzvah that sets it apart from all others? and what it is doing in parshat Ki Teitzei davka, which has special significance for Rosh Hashana?
Before we try to understand the answers to the above questions, a short introduction is required.
In הלכות יסודי התורה (פרק ב), the Rambam lists the different creations of HKB”H in order of their understanding of the truth of HKB”H, from the highest level of the angels, חיות הקודש to the lowest level of physical beings, like a mosquito. Of all HKB”H’s creations, the only which has a יצר הרע are human beings. We were not created that way, but acquired it when Adam Harishon sinned and הנחש הטיל בחוה זוהמה (מאיר פנים, טו).
From the second we humans are born we begin to acquire knowledge, sensory adaptation to our environment through memory. Each repetitive stimulus and response is analyzed and filed away in storage in our brains, allowing us to perform pattern recognition in ever expanding circles. We soon begin to “learn” who our mother is - the one who gives us food. This circle then expands to our father and siblings, grandparents, pet dog, the next door neighbors, the kids in our class at school, university, at work, on the bus, in the concert hall, etc. The more we age, the more knowledge we acquire. (an aside: It is a sign of our valueless generation and Westernized culture that we have come to idolize youth and despise our elders, as opposed to previous generations who respected knowledge and experience).
As we acquire knowledge, so do we also acquire habit. We are subject to ever increasing information that is accompanied by ever increasing temptation as we grow and interact with others. The quality of education in our homes and schools will to a large degree determine whether we develop good habits or bad ones, but ultimately that choice is dependent on us alone. We have free choice to choose the path of right or the path of wrong in every sphere of our lives and our יצר הרע is always there trying to trip us up. In this week’s parsha it says כי תצא למלחמה על אויביך and the Mefarshim say it is talking about our continuous battle with our יצר הרע, our most destructive enemy.
As part of my research into the Lechem Hapanim and smiling I stumbled on an interesting fact – that very young children smile most (about 300 times a day). As we get older, we smile less and less. Similarly it is with our יצר הרע, the older we get, the more power it has over us.
As Shlomo Hamelech so wisely said –
כִּי אָדָם אֵין צַדִּיק בָּאָרֶץ אֲשֶׁר יַעֲשֶׂה טּוֹב וְלֹא יֶחֱטָא (קהלת, ז, כ).
Knowledge is therefore a double edged sword. On the one hand it enables us to achieve a greater understanding of the truth of HKB”H, but on the other hand it provides us greater opportunity for abuse in the submission to our יצר הרע.
There are only three types of living human beings who are totally devoid of sin and יצר הרע. The first is a newborn child, the second is someone with autism and the third is someone with Alzheimer’s disease.
A newborn has not yet had time to acquire knowledge, habit or יצר הרע.
Someone with autism is incapable of יצר הרע and sin. Gedolei Yisrael say that children (and adults) with autism possess an incredibly elevated neshama, close to that of the angels. Every time an autistic child entered his shul, HaRav Shach z”l would stand up for them out of respect. People with autism are the closest thing to angels living amongst us – their inability to cope with our lowly physical world and their total innocence (an aside: society and the education system consider them handicapped and try to adapt them to our lower spiritual form of existence, rather than understanding them for who they truly are and holding them in awe as role models for us). I know this from personal experience, raising an autistic child.
Someone with Alzheimer’s disease has had their יצר הרע slowly but surely erased. Alzheimer’s is the reverse of the knowledge acquisition process, a process of “unlearning”. It begins with short term memory lapse, losing recognition of those around you. It continues with a decline in cognitive function, understanding, talking, eating, etc. Finally it ends with the person in an equivalent state to a newborn baby.
We regard it as a devastating disease and it is devastating, mostly to those closely related to the sufferer. They have to live comparing the “shell” of a person they now see, to the powerhouse of a person they remember. For the sufferer of the disease him/herself, it is less devastating. They cannot really understand what is happening to them, so they do not really suffer in that sense. We often wonder what it would be like to reverse the clock and relive our life again. Would we make the same mistakes? Would we do it better, worse? I think we can get an insight into that from someone with Alzheimer’s. They relive the same day over and over again, anew – with the same wonder, joy, pain, amazement, etc. each time. I know this too from personal experience caring for a parent with advanced Alzheimer’s.
For many of us (myself included – at the beginning - I have since become wiser), the prospect of having an autistic child, or an aging parent with Alzheimers, seems like a terrible punishment and suffering. For the autistic child and the parent with Alzheimers, it is no suffering. For their caregivers it is a special merit. When they did Hakhel in the Mikdash, the mothers were told to bring their infants. What possible benefit could a one-month-old baby get from being present at Hakhel? The Mefarshim say that it was לתת שכר למביאהם.
When the parent with Alzheimer’s and the child with autism finally return their neshama to HKB”H at the end of their lives, they automatically fly straight into Gan Eden as they are free of sin and יצר הרע (unlike us “normal” people – whose ticket status is uncertain). Meanwhile, while they are with us, they bring enormous שכר to we who care for them and they inspire (or should) our lives.
After that introduction we can now begin the shiur.
Of the five מתנות עניים, the mitzvah of שכחה is the highest madrega. With the other 4, it is true that it is a form of tzedakka, but they are all premeditated and because of that it lowers their worth. When a person leaves פאה in the corner of his field, he does that knowingly and even willingly, wanting to give to the poor as HKB”H commanded. But it is impossible that that mitzvah can be performed 100% altruistically. The very fact that the person knows he is doing a mitzvah and getting שכר for it in עולם הבא, whether he does it for that reason or not, lessens its value. It is still a valuable mitzvah, but it cannot match the mitzvah of שכחה.
The only way someone can do the mitzvah of שכחה is without kavanah. He has no intention of performing a mitzvah and therefore the existence of ulterior motives is zero! He forgot the sheaf in the field, unintentionally. He got home and counted the sheaves and suddenly noticed he had only 99 sheaves and not 100.
HKB”H says to him – “By FORGETTING, you performed the mitzvah of tzedakka in its highest form. Let it be! Leave it for an underprivileged person to take and I will reward you in everything you do.” By unintentionally forgetting the sheaf, the owner in effect erased any possible יצר הרע element in performing the mitzvah.
Yes, most of the Torah is about remembering, but forgetting also has great power.
It has power to heal. When someone loses a loved one, the ability to gradually forget, enables you to continue to live your life without constant grief of the highest intensity.
Like the mitzvah of שכחה, forgetting also has power to reverse the adverse effects of the יצר הרע. And this is why this mitzvah appears davka here, in the series of parshiyot before Rosh Hashana, because it gives us a true insight into the essence of tshuva.
Tshuva is all about forgetting.
Yes, you first have to remember that you committed the sin and regret it, but in order to truly do tshuva, you have to undergo a process of forgetting and “unlearning” (lehavdil, very much like Alzheimer’s). You have to “unlearn” the bad habits that you acquired that led you to commit that sin. This is often a gradual and arduous process that we struggle with for most of our lives.
Our יצר הרע constantly tries to trip us up. “Change? You’ll never change! You don’t have the willpower! And why change? Aren’t you enjoying yourself? Accept yourself for the way you are! Sleep a little later! Have another chocolate éclair!” and so on and so on. We have the power to fight out יצר הרע but we cannot defeat it without HKB”H’s help. Hashem wants us to spearhead the battle against our יצר הרע - כי תצא למלחמה על אויביך and then He helps us to win the battle ונתנו ה' א-לוקיך בידך. We have to initiate and then we get the help.
To do tshuva, we each need to introspect and identify which of our habits are productive and which are destructive and replace the destructive habits with positive, constructive ones that eventually blot out the old ones. A vacuum cannot endure. It is soon filled - better with a good habit than a bad one. In addition, we need to be humble and constantly beseech HKB”H to forgive us.
If we are sincere and our tshuva is successful, i.e we are confronted with the same situation and we do not repeat the sin – that sin is erased from existence, it never happened! It is (kivyachol and lehavdil), like HKB”H “developed Alzheimer’s” as far as that sin is concerned - it is totally forgotten and is never mentioned again (someone who reminds a ba’al tshuva of their previous life and sin, is severely reprimanded by Chazal).
You are “reborn”, to relive the next day anew – like a chatan and kalah on the day of their marriage, like a newborn baby.
This is the awesome power of forgetting, the incredible gift of tshuva that HKB”H gave us and the special month of Elul where we have a hotline to HKB”H and the יצר הרע is weakened. We have three weeks until Rosh Hashana to grab this opportunity and start the year with a clean slate. To forget the old year and all its hardships and herald the new year with all its blessings ב"ה.
