The Art of the War - Toldot
וַיִּתְרֹצֲצוּ הַבָּנִים בְּקִרְבָּהּ וַתֹּאמֶר אִם כֵּן לָמָּה זֶּה אָנֹכִי וַתֵּלֶךְ לִדְרֹשׁ אֶת ה'. (בראשית כה, כב)
Every parsha in the Torah is a world on its own and infinite in depth. Often the pshat of a parsha is straightforward and can mostly be understood at face value. For me, there is no parsha that defies understanding according to the pshat, more than Toldot. Today we will be digging much deeper than the pshat.
Parshat Toldot is also uncannily connected to current events, including, but not limited to, Yitzchak's altercation with Avimelech in Gaza.
Some of the topics we will be addressing in this shiur are - the principle of free choice vs. nature or nurture; the difference between an אוֹיֵב and a שׂוֹנֵא; how Jews should be behaving in galut today; why galut Edom is the longest galut; Israel's post war strategy.
Let's begin with a seeming paradox.
The Gemara (Rosh Hashana 16b) asks why HKB"H saved Yishmael from dying of thirst, after Avraham cast him and Hagar out. The angels asked HKB"H "Yishmael's descendants (Nebuchadnezzar) will kill Your children (Am Yisrael) with thirst (during the exile to Bavel - Yishayahu 21, 13-14) and You are now saving him by revealing the well to him?" HKB"H replied "What is Yishmael right now, a צַדִּיק or a רָשָׁע?" The angels said "A צַדִּיק". HKB"H replied "I judge him according to his current actions, not his future actions". This is a very difficult Gemara to understand, because the reason Sarah told Avraham to banish Hagar and Yishmael was because Yishmael was מְצַחֵק, which, according to Rashi (Breishit 21,9), means that he sinned with עֲבוֹדָה זָרָה, גִּלּוּי עֲרָיוֹת וּשְׁפִיכוּת דָּמִים. Despite this, according to the angels, Yishmael had not yet attained the title of a רָשָׁע and was still considered a צַדִּיק.
Prior to Yishmael's birth, however, HKB"H already revealed to Hagar, via an angel, that Yishmael would be a פֶּרֶא אָדָם (Breishit 16, 12). So how can that be? Before Yishmael was even born, HKB"H already knew his end, He even told Hagar what that end would be. If HKB"H and Hagar already knew Yishmael's outcome beforehand, where is his free choice?
In our parsha we have a similar case. Rivka is having a perplexing pregnancy, the fetus is behaving erratically, it is seemingly attracted to both קְדֻשָּׁה and also to טֻמְאָה. Rivka says אִם כֵּן לָמָּה זֶּה אָנֹכִי and goes to ask Shem (why she didn't ask Yitzchak or Avraham is a question for another shiur). Shem told her that it was not one, but two children – each with a different end. If HKB"H and Rivka already knew how Eisav was going to end up, where is his free choice?
To complicate the matter even further, in parshat Ki Teitzei, the Torah discusses the case of a בֶּן סוֹרֵר וּמוֹרֶה. Right now, despite his disturbing behavior, the child has not yet attained the title of a רָשָׁע. Even so, we are commanded to kill him, because of "his end". Where is his free choice?
The question "If HKB"H knows a person's end before they are born, then how does that person have free choice?" is a question that the Rambam (Hilchot Tshuva 5, 5) describes as אֲרֻכָּה מֵאֶרֶץ מִדָּהּ וּרְחָבָה מִנִּי יָם. It is a paradox – how can that person end up any different, if HKB"H foresees their end?
Perhaps the best way to explain it עַל רֶגֶל אַחַת is using the analogy of a chess game. If a person makes a specific move on the chessboard, that takes the game down a certain path, leading to a specific end. I am not sure how many permutations are possible in a chess game, if it is infinite or not, but to be sure - it is an astronomically large number. HKB"H, who is infinite, knows every possible move in a chess game and every possible outcome. Just because HKB"H knows all the possible outcomes, does not detract from free choice. The person still has free choice to make any move they want. HKB"H does not know the person's end, HKB"H knows the person's ends – every possible end that there could be. Which specific end the person ultimately reaches, from all the infinite possible ends, is through their own free choice.
Until a son becomes a בֶּן סוֹרֵר וּמוֹרֶה, he still has free choice. However, once he reaches the parameters defined by the Torah as a בֶּן סוֹרֵר וּמוֹרֶה, there are no longer infinite possible outcomes for how he will end up, only one. This means that a person becomes a בֶּן סוֹרֵר וּמוֹרֶה through free choice. However, once someone reaches the stage of a בֶּן סוֹרֵר וּמוֹרֶה, they in effect erase the possibility of further free choice in themselves and their outcome is inevitable (like HKB"H punished Pharaoh by eventually eliminating his free choice).
We see from the above that neither Yishmael nor Eisav fitted the category of a בֶּן סוֹרֵר וּמוֹרֶה. The fact is, HKB"H did not command Avraham, nor Yitzchak, to kill Yishmael nor Eisav before they became the רְשָׁעִים that they became. If so, the ultimate ramifications that resulted from Yishmael and Eisav remaining alive and giving birth to descendants who were responsible for the destruction of the two Batei Mikdash and the galuyot - are an integral part of HKB"H's plan, otherwise He would simply have commanded Avraham to sacrifice Yishmael instead of Yitzchak (and follow through) and He would have commanded Yitzchak to sit in a Beit Din and sentence Eisav to death for his sins.
From all the above, it is clear that both Yishmael and Eisav became what they became - out of free choice. Yes, both had certain natural tendencies from birth, but they had the ability to transcend those natural tendencies. Instead, they both succumbed to their natural tendencies and freely chose the path of evil.
Equally clear is that HKB"H did not wipe them and their bloodline out, because they have not yet achieved their allotted purpose in HKB"H's plan.
An interesting thing to note, both in the case of Yishmael and Eisav, is that HKB"H revealed to their mothers, Hagar and Rivka, how they would end up before they were born. HKB"H didn't reveal this to Leah, Rachel, Bilha and Zilpah before their children, the Twelve Tribes, were born. It was only the mothers who gave birth to reshaim, Yaakov's children were all tzaddikim.
How, if at all, does a mother's knowledge of her child's outcome beforehand influence the development of the child? We know from a passuk, that Rivka had blatant favoritism for only one son - Yaakov. I will leave it to the psychologists to hypothesize on how that reality in Yitzchak's home influenced Eisav's personality, if at all.
Another interesting tidbit to note is a difference between Yishmael and Eisav. In the case of Yishmael, HKB"H commanded Avraham to follow Sarah's advice and send Yishmael away from their home. In the case of Eisav, instead of Rivka telling Yitzchak to banish Eisav from their home, it was in fact Yaakov who was sent away, leaving Eisav behind in his father's home.
The Sifri (Bamidbar 69) says הֲלָכָה בְּיָדוּעַ שֶׁעֵשָׂו שׂוֹנֵא לְיַעֲקֹב. It is not just an "unfortunate reality" that things are this way, it is a halacha - it has to be that way! Soon, we will see why.
The pivotal point in Eisav and Yaakov's "relationship" was when, in our parsha, Yaakov "stole" Eisav's blessing. Until then the Torah does not elaborate how the brothers felt about each other. Following this episode, however, the Torah categorically states וַיִּשְׂטֹם עֵשָׂו אֶת יַעֲקֹב עַל הַבְּרָכָה אֲשֶׁר בֵּרֲכוֹ אָבִיו (בראשית כז, מא), that Eisav hated Yaakov. Chazal tell us that Eisav and Yaakov, whilst still in the womb, divided up their inheritance. Yaakov would get the spiritual blessing while Eisav would get the material blessing. When Yaakov "overstepped the bounds" (at his mother's behest) and encroached on Eisav's "territory", that was the impasse. Why Rivka felt it necessary that Yaakov do so, is the subject of a previous shiur (Toldot 2021).
What is the difference between an אוֹיֵב and a שׂוֹנֵא? An אוֹיֵב is an adversary who battles you because of some (perceived?) dispute, be it territorial, monetary, religious etc. An אוֹיֵב battles you to reclaim what they believe is rightfully theirs. A שׂוֹנֵא on the other hand, battles you, not merely to reclaim something they believe is theirs. A שׂוֹנֵא will not be assuaged if they win the battle and reclaim what they believe is theirs. They will only be satiated when they totally wipe your existence off the face of the earth. A שׂוֹנֵא cannot coexist in the same world as you, under any circumstances.
The seeds of this irrational hate against Yaakov/Yisrael began with Eisav, whose dispute with Yaakov began as something rational. This hate was "institutionalized" two generations later by adding an additional element, through Timna, the concubine of Eliphaz, son of Eisav. Timna wanted to marry Avraham but he rejected her. She then tried with Yitzchak and he too rejected her. Finally, so too did Yaakov. This festering resentment of everything that Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov stood for, combined with the hatred of grandfather Eisav for his brother Yaakov, resulted in Timna giving birth to a "nation of hate" – Amalek. Amalek had nothing constructive to contribute to mankind. Theirs was a culture purely of hate – they existed purely to wipe the descendants of Yaakov/Yisrael, off the face of the earth – either physically or spiritually. This hate is inculcated from birth, 5 times daily in their prayers "The Jews will hide behind a tree or a rock and the rock or the tree will say: There is a Jew behind me, come and kill him" (Hadith, Imam Ahmad, vol. 2, p. 67, vol. 3, p. 119, and vol. 4, p. 338; and Ibn Majah, no. 4128).
As long as Amalek (or the philosophy of Amalek) exists, Am Yisrael cannot be safe. Amalek will not tire until they wipe us out. It is them or us, no coexistence is possible. In such a situation, we have to eliminate them before they eliminate us. This is why the Torah commands us to do exactly that.
Not all the descendants of Eisav (Edom) are Amalek. Amalek is a specific philosophy that can exist in other nations. It is possible to find the philosophy of Amalek also amongst the descendants of Yishmael, for example. We are not commanded to wipe out the nations of Edom or Yishmael - only Amalek. It is our duty to wipe them out, we cannot sit idly by and wait for HKB"H to do that for us.
It is possible to identify Amalek by their hallmark – irrational hatred for Am Yisrael, their inability to accept Am Yisrael's very existence. Mostly this hatred is not overt, but cleverly disguised and camouflaged. Seldom does it explode visibly for all to see in all its barbarity and vulgarity. It happened thousands of years ago in Shushan, it happened almost a century ago in WWII and it happened again on October 7, 2023. The modus operandi has always been the same. It is not enough to simply kill Am Yisrael, every trace of them must be eradicated.
In a previous shiur (Lech Lecha 2023) I brought numerous proofs from תורת הרמז to show that Hamas (and Iran) are the modern-day Amalek. Unfortunately, Hamas is not localized purely to Gaza. There are seeds of Hamas' (Amalek's) philosophy beating and throbbing all over the world, interspersed with the nations of Edom and Yishmael.
As with previous eruptions of Amalek against Am Yisrael, the latest atrocity has brought crumbling down - all the illusions Am Yisrael contrived about peacefully intermingling with the goyim and living in and amongst them in total harmony.
In the time of Achashverosh, the Jews in Shushan thought that if they diminish their "Jewishness", making themselves more "acceptable" to the goyim and participating with them in their feasts and cultural events, they could coexist with them in harmony. The result of that was Haman.
In the 1800's the Haskalah movement thought that by diminishing and downplaying their "Jewishness" and making themselves a more integral part of the society of the goyim in Europe, in academia, in the government, etc. they could endear themselves to the goyim and coexist in harmony. The result of that was Hitler.
In the 1900's various movements in Israel and abroad thought that by downplaying their "Jewishness", making themselves more like the goyim and integrating themselves more into their culture and trying to coexist in peace and harmony, intermingled with them, they would achieve peace and endear themselves to the nations of the world. The result of that was October 7, 2023 and its aftermath that we are currently experiencing.
The paralyzing revelation (it is exactly that – a Divine revelation) is that no matter how much we try to make ourselves more like the goyim, how merciful and magnanimous we are to our enemies, the more we try, the more we cause them to hate us. And that hate erupts explosively.
The descendants of the philosophy of Amalek do not target Charedim in Bnei Brak because they are ultra-orthodox or "settlers" in Yehudah and Shomron because they supposedly "occupy" their land. They target any and every Jew, anywhere in the world, wherever they can find them, regardless of their level of "Jewishness" – simply because they are Jewish, not Israeli - Jewish! They will not rest until they cleanse us from "the river to the sea", from France, from England, from the USA, from Canada, etc. It has nothing to do with humanitarian aid to Gaza, or electricity in incubators in Gazan hospitals. It is an irrational hatred of Jews, of Am Yisrael. That is what Amalek is.
Not all of Britain are Amalek, neither is all of France, the USA, Canada etc. The vast majority of Edom and Yishmael are our אוֹיֵב – they have a dispute with us, territorial, religious, monetary, etc. They don't particularly like us, they tolerate us for the most part, when it suits them. But they are not trying to wipe us off the face of the earth like our שׂוֹנֵא – Amalek. For the most part they are ignorant to the facts, to the history. Many of them are joining the pro-Hamas rallies, not because they understand why, but mostly because it is "cool", it is the "in thing", on the streets and in campuses. They are not the problem, if we educate them and dispel the lies, they won't be at these demonstrations.
The problem are the real Amalekites. It is them or us, there is no middle ground. The only response to them is force, the IDF in Israel and Jews (as many as possible) on the streets of the USA, UK, France, Canada, etc. There is strength in numbers and the Jews abroad must come together and make a show of force. The pro-Israel demonstration in Washington this week was a good start, but it is only a start. 200,000 of all the millions of Jews in the USA is not enough. We need to see more of these demonstrations in New York, in Los Angeles and all over America. Similarly in London, Paris, Melbourne, Johannesburg. We must wield the most powerful weapon possible on the streets – the Israeli flag and our cellphones, taking photos of everything that moves - as proof in case of an attack, chas veshalom. We must not cower and hide, not downplay our "Jewishness", by removing our Mezuzas from the door, by removing the Magen Davids around our necks or the Kippas from our heads. The opposite! We must display them proudly for all to see. Next to the Magen David graffiti spray painted on the walls we must dangle an Israeli flag! The Amalekites are trying to label us as Jews, we must help them, by showing how proud we are of being Jews, not ashamed.
Fellow Jews, we are again reliving the Exodus from Egypt and our redemption. Just as back then this was preceded by an act of faith, proudly displaying our "Jewishness" on the lintels and the doorposts – taunting our enemies, so today, as we approach our redemption, HKB"H wants to see the same act of faith – a return to our roots and our Creator and a clear display of our affiliation. Just as back then HKB"H performed miracles for us, so too will He do so today.
In Shushan the Jews put the fear of death into Haman's supporters, but still there was a hard core that would not relent and 300 of them were killed in Shushan. In the rest of the kingdom, 75,000 Amalekites were killed because they refused to stand down. Just like back then, it is them or us.
If, however, a member of Amalek agrees to stand down and relinquish their philosophy of hate, we are even allowed to accept them as a convert to Judaism. The Gemara (Sanhedrin 96b, Gitin 57b) says that descendants of Haman taught Torah in Bnei Brak. If the civilians in Gaza are prepared to relinquish the Hamas/Amalek philosophy, we have no reason to harm them.
If you live in a region in the world where you are vastly outnumbered and do not have strength in numbers, you should seriously consider relocating, to the only place that is really safe for Jews in the world today – Israel. HKB"H is going to bring you here eventually anyway, you might as well preempt it and do it comfortably and wisely, rather than waiting for a situation where you have to be airlifted with one suitcase and the clothes on your backs, chas veshalom.
The lengthy exile of Edom is approaching its end, as is the exile of Yishmael. Everything is converging on the Geulah.
The reason the exile of Edom was so long, 1878 years (or for those who still do not live in Israel – 1953 years) is because of the sin of שִׂנְאַת חִנָּם – the senseless hatred of Am Yisrael for itself. To weed out this cancer cannot be done in a short time. It requires a lengthy, repetitive punishment and lesson, teaching us, again and again, in every generation – who our real enemy is.
The Avot, in their lifetimes, laid the foundation for the future Am Yisrael. All their nisyonot were to develop the genetics in us, their descendants, that we would be able to withstand these same nisyonot in our generation. Unlike Sarah, who told Avraham to send Yishmael away, Rivka told Yitzchak to send Yaakov away, not Eisav. Yaakov had to be sent into galut and live among the goyim, all the while keeping his neshama intact, in order that his descendants would be able to accomplish the same challenges later on in history.
While Yaakov was in Charan, Yitzchak had to continue living with his evil son Eisav and his idol worshipping wives in his home. This was for a different reason – to enable HKB"H to forgive Am Yisrael when they sinned with avodah zarah in the time of the 1st Beit HaMikdash. Yitzchak said (Gemara, Shabbat 89b) "HKB"H, you cannot destroy Am Yisrael in Your home (Eretz Yisrael) because they serve idols. I (Yitzchak), endured living with my idol worshipping children and did not cast them out!"
Everyone is focusing right now on winning the war and getting the hostages back and then turning our attention to the post war strategy. I am not talking about the post-war strategy in Gaza, who should govern it, I am talking about our post war strategy in Am Yisrael.
The attack on October 7 was an act of G-d. If HKB"H would have left it up to us to make peace within ourselves, it would not have happened. We were on the brink and the only thing that could save us from that was October 7. It would have been better if we could have woken up ourselves, without all the lives lost and destroyed Rachmana litzlan, but the yetzer harah is so strong among us in these final throes before the Geulah, that this was not possible.
I listen to people speaking on TV about how everyone has had their misconceptions shattered and that Am Yisrael has woken up. I do not believe that we have completely woken up yet, I think there are still more people that need to be woken up and HKB"H will wake them up, hopefully this time with more miraculous, favorable acts of G-d for Am Yisrael and less catastrophic ones. In the end, B"H all the hearts of stone will be melted and Am Yisrael will finally get the message. We are this close …… As HKB"H said to Moshe Rabbeinu הִתְיַצְבוּ וּרְאוּ אֶת יְשׁוּעַת ה'.
Only HKB"H can do this, not us. Despite what happened on October 7, I still hear many of the same people, on the same Israeli/Jewish media channels, espousing the same misconceptions. Even October 7 cannot change this in their minds. They are so far gone that nothing they witness will change their erroneous beliefs.
The good news is that they are a tiny, miniscule minority. The vast majority of Am Yisrael, in Israel and abroad, have woken up. We need to focus and concentrate now on preserving the miraculous wave of achdut flowing over our nation and not give these fringe minorities any air time whatsoever, not acknowledging what they say, not answering them – not giving them any stage whatsoever. They are still peddling sinat chinam and they desperately want a stage to peddle it on. Let us not give it to them and marginalize them for the fringe minority that they are.
Am Yisrael are much smarter than we think, the majority of our nation is not with these fringes, they are disgusted by them. The sane majority in Am Yisrael need to actively concentrate and focus on all the positive. Our media channels need to be dealing exclusively with the achdut and the positive, good things. This is what Am Yisrael wants to see and when they do, they will "vote with their feet" and the media channels who give a stage to the fringes will plummet in the ratings and eventually disappear.
In the end, it all boils down to each individual in Am Yisrael. We all have to make a choice. HKB"H wants us to choose Him freely, not because we are forced to.
Everyone thinks the war is down south in Gaza, it is not. Each and every one of us are currently fighting the real war – the war with our yetzer harah.
Just as there is an art to every war, so too is there an art to fighting the yetzer harah. The yetzer harah does not tempt us with things that are obviously and patently wrong (each according to their own level). The yetzer harah gnaws slowly, step by step, slowly eroding our resistance, until we end up at that final stage of sin without even realizing it.
The yetzer harah will not directly tempt someone who is strict with Kashrut to eat pork. The very thought would make most Jewish people nauseous. Instead, the yetzer harah tempts us with a boiled candy in a jar in a dentist's office, that looks really appealing and upon inspection of the ingredient list does not appear to have any problematic ingredients. Only thing is – it does not have a hechsher. So, you think to yourself – what can be wrong with this? All it is, is sugar, cornstarch, coloring and some E-123's. and you eat it – and enjoy it immensely (and it is also good business for the dentist). Next time, a business associate gives you a box of chocolates as a gift. You cannot refuse, it would be ungracious. Again, there is no hechsher on the box and the ingredients do not pop up any red flags, so you dig in. Later you discover that the filling of one of the pralines had gelatin made from animal derivatives. Oh well, it was "batel beshishim", you think. And so on it goes, tiny little baby steps, gradually taking you further and further down the road, until you are eating in a restaurant without a hechsher - to not insult your boss who invited you to lunch. Eventually one day you wake up and realize you have eaten something with pig derivatives in and guess what ….. nothing happened to you! (physically at least).
This is the way the yetzer harah works. There is an art to the war.
To defeat the yetzer harah, we have to work the same art of war, in reverse. If someone who is not makpid on Kashrut decides to tackle the problem head on and immediately start eating only Kosher, overnight, the chances are that this will not last long. Epiphanies and radical approaches in defeating the yetzer harah are just as ineffective as if the yetzer harah tried a radical approach to get you to sin with something that is totally remote to you. This is what happened with Am Yisrael shortly after receiving the Torah on Har Sinai – they sinned with the egel. They had risen too quickly, so they fell just as quickly.
To defeat the yetzer harah, you need to take baby steps in the opposite direction. If you do not eat Kosher as a general rule, then make a resolution just once a week, on Fridays, to buy a challah roll from a Kosher bakery for eating on Shabbat. What harm can that do? You have the rest of the week to eat whatever you like, just as before? After this routine is well established, introduce another baby step - start making a bracha before eating that challah roll. Hamotzi Lechem Min Ha'aretz. It's not like you are going to start growing peiyot and start wearing a streimel or anything like that! After a few weeks, you decide that while saying the bracha you will put on a kippa – just for the bracha, after that, off it goes! Slowly but surely, under the radar of the yetzer harah, you will end up keeping Kosher full time. This is the art of the war.
Eisav and Yaakov, until age 13 were exactly the same. They went to the same school, lived in the same home, learned the same things from their father Yitzchak and mother Rivka. So how did Eisav veer one way and Yaakov the other after bar mitzvah? It was not instantaneous, it was baby steps, chosen freely and willingly, one after the other, each leading them down a different path.
Yishmael and Eisav and their descendants had a role to play in HKB"H's plan, specifically related to the Geulah. Edom is likened to a pig, a חֲזִיר – because their job is לְהַחֲזִיר, to return the מַלְכוּת, the kingdom over the world to HKB"H. Yishmael had a job to make Am Yisrael cry out to HKB"H for salvation and to return to their roots. We are at the end of that process. Now we are in the final stages, eliminating Amalek and returning to our land from the four corners of the earth, united as one nation, with One G-d.
