Rock Bottom – Vaetchanan
Two people won the National Lottery.
The first was someone who had religiously been taking a computer-generated lottery card every week for almost 20 years. He didn't examine which numbers the computer spat out, until he checked the card against the results when the lottery was broadcast on TV. One week he accidentally threw the lottery card, mixed in with some other papers, into the trash. When he tried to find the card to check the results, he realized it had been thrown out. He didn't know which numbers were on the card or whether he had won or not. Unbeknownst to him, one set of the computer-generated numbers on the discarded card was the winning combination. He had won the lottery, but he didn't even know!
The second person was also a devout lottery card filler. Like the first person in our story, he let the computer generate sets of automatic numbers, instead of filling out his own numbers. When the lottery was broadcast on TV, he pulled out the card to check and lo and behold, one of the sequences was the winning combination! He rushed to wake his wife who had already gone to bed. "Rochel, we just won 20 million Shekels in the lottery!" The two couldn't sleep the whole night. They sat up planning all the things they would do with their newly acquired fortune, give a tenth to tzedakah, renovate the house, take a cruise, pay off their mortgage, set aside money to buy apartments for the kids when they got married, etc. The following morning, the husband drove to the offices of the National Lottery to claim their prize. On the way, he stopped to fill up at a gas station. It was a sweltering day, so while the car was refueling, he stepped into the convenience store to buy a cup of ice coffee. Suddenly, out of nowhere, two youngsters wearing ski masks dived into the car, slammed the doors and drove off. The bag with the winning lottery ticket was in the car! Hysterically he dialed the police to report the stolen car. Eight hours later the police found the car. The thieves had taken it for a joy ride and then torched it, everything in it was burnt to a cinder. The car was insured, but he had just lost 20 million Shekels.
The following morning, both these people woke up to a perfect summer's day. Deep blue sky, the scent of flowers in the air, birds chirping, the rustle of leaves in the breeze, עוֹלָם כְּמִנְהָגוֹ נוֹהֵג. Their surroundings were identical, but what each saw was completely different.
We are like the first person in the מָשָׁל. We bumble through life with a vague conception that we have lost something, but not truly comprehending what it is. Only when someone truly has something, sees it with their own eyes, touches it with their own hands, smells it with their own nose …. and loses it, do they fully understand the meaning of loss.
We have just finished another Tisha Be'Av. It was a tough period for all. Even with nothing extra going on, the three weeks are a tough period for most people – no music, no shaving (for some that is a perk), no meat for nine days (except Shabbat), less running around, etc. Besides the limitations (nothing terrible will happen if we don't hear music for three weeks, or eat meat for nine days – the knowing you can't do something is actually tougher than being deprived of the thing itself), this time of the year carries with it an aura of dampened spirits. Everyone is more uptight, easily irritated, less energized. We fasted, sat on low stools or on the floor in shul and shed a tear over the עֲשָׂרָה הֲרוּגֵי מַלְכוּת. We suffered all the way through it and when it was finally over, we silently breathed a sigh of relief that we had once again done our duty for the year and can now get busy with the real matter at hand – enjoying the summer vacation.
Someone who has not lived the reality of the Beit Mikdash cannot possibly fathom what its destruction means. How do you comfort such a person? Do we really need comforting? We wake the next morning and the sun is shining, the sky is blue, the birds are chirping. נַחֲמוּ נַחֲמוּ עַמִּי יֹאמַר אֱ-לֹקֵיכֶם, it's a nice, haunting Shlomo Karlebach tune, but not much more.
In general, the Ashkenazim today are "less connected" to the Beit Hamikdash than the Sefardim.
In the Ashkenazi siddur, after Shacharit, there are שֵׁשׁ זְכִירוֹת, six things that we are commanded to remember every day of our lives. Five correspond to the five times in the Torah the word זָכוֹר is written – leaving Egypt (Shmot 13, 3), Shabbat (Shmot 20, 8), the egel hazahav (Devarim 9, 7), what happened to Miriam (Devarim 24, 9) and Amalek (Devarim 25, 17). The sixth, Har Sinai, does not correspond to the word זָכוֹר in the Torah, but rather to its counterpart פֶּן תִּשְׁכַּח.
Those who daven nusach עֲדוֹת הַמִּזְרָח, add another four to the above, making a total of ten. וְזָכַרְתָּ אֶת ה' אֱ-לֹקֶיךָ כִּי הוּא הַנֹּתֵן לְךָ כֹּחַ לַעֲשׂוֹת חָיִל וכו' (דברים ח, יח), the Mann וְזָכַרְתָּ אֶת כָּל הַדֶּרֶךְ אֲשֶׁר הֹלִיכֲךָ וכו' (דברים ח, ב), Bilam/Balak עַמִּי זְכָר נָא מַה יָּעַץ בָּלָק מֶלֶךְ מוֹאָב וכו' (מיכה ו, ה) and remembering Yerushalayim אִם אֶשְׁכָּחֵךְ יְרוּשָׁלָ͏ם תִּשְׁכַּח יְמִינִי (תהילים קלז, ה).
Although the Korbanot in Shacharit also appear in the Ashkenazi siddur, anyone davening in an Ashkenazi minyan knows that most skip over this section in Shacharit and before Mincha do not say them at all. Unlike in a Sefardi minyan where much more emphasis is placed on saying the Korbanot, both in Shacharit and Mincha.
This additional daily reminder of the Beit Hamikdash in the Zechirot and the Korbanot twice a day makes the Sefardim in general today more connected to the Beit Hamikdash through repetition.
Remembering Yerushalayim is a prominent feature in our daily tefilot. Three times a day in Shmoneh Esrei we say וְלִירוּשָׁלַיִם עִירְךָ בְּרַחֲמִים תָּשׁוּב, וְתֶחֱזֶינָה עֵינֵינוּ בְּשׁוּבְךָ לְצִיּוֹן בְּרַחֲמִים. In Birkat Hamazon we also say עַל נַהֲרוֹת בָּבֶל, רַחֵם and וּבְנֵה/וְתִבְנֶה יְרוּשָׁלַיִם.
Why davka did the Sefardim decide to add another mention in the Zechirot and the Ashkenazim did not? Why do the Sefardim place more emphasis on the Korbanot than the Ashkenazim?
Of the many blessings that HKB"H gives us, one of the most benevolent is the power of "forgetting". When someone suffers a loss, a bereavement - it can be incapacitating. If not for the ability to forget, it would be impossible to go on living. HKB"H has blessed us with a great gift, that as time passes, we slowly begin to forget and the pain lessens. We never completely forget, but the lessening of the pain allows us to pick up the pieces.
Am Yisrael, exiled and led in chains to Bavel are not allowed to cry. Nebuchadnezzar commands Nevuzaradan "Do not allow them to cry! If they cry while still in Eretz Yisrael, HKB"H will accept their tears and reverse everything!" As they marched to Bavel, the guards beat anyone weeping within an inch of their life. Only once they reached Bavel were Am Yisrael allowed to weep. That is why it says עַל נַהֲרוֹת בָּבֶל שָׁם יָשַׁבְנוּ גַּם בָּכִינוּ.
The Midrash on Tehilim says that Yirmiyahu accompanied Am Yisrael to Bavel but then told them he was returning to take care of those left in the broken Eretz Yisrael. Am Yisrael wept and said to him "How can you abandon us?" Yirmiyahu replied "If in Eretz Yisrael you would have cried and done tshuva like you are now, you would not have gone into exile!"
The Rambam (סֵפֶר הַמַּדָּע, הִלְכוֹת תְּשׁוּבָה, ז, ח) says that it is forbidden to remind a ba'al tshuva of his past sins, or even for the ba'al tshuva to constantly remind himself of past sins.
With this in mind, let us read in a different light the famous two psukkim from Tehilim (137, 5-6) recited on weekdays in Birkat Hamazon and at weddings before the chatan breaks the glass. I have not seen this written anywhere, but I believe it to be true וה' יְכַפֵּר בַּעֲדִי אִם טָעִיתִי.
אִם אֶשְׁכָּחֵךְ יְרוּשָׁלָם תִּשְׁכַּח יְמִינִי. תִּדְבַּק לְשׁוֹנִי לְחִכִּי אִם לֹא אֶזְכְּרֵכִי אִם לֹא אַעֲלֶה אֶת יְרוּשָׁלַם עַל רֹאשׁ שִׂמְחָתִי.
Am Yisrael, now ba'alei tshuva, beseech HKB"H אִם אֶשְׁכָּחֵךְ יְרוּשָׁלָם "If You will help us forget Yerushlayim". HKB"H please help lessen the pain by allowing us to gradually forget that Yerushalyim - the one that was destroyed by our sins. We are ba'alei tshuva and it is not permissible to remind a ba'al tshuva of their sins, עֲבוֹדָה זָרָה, עֲרָיוֹת וּשְׁפִיכוּת דָּמִים, sins caused by physical actions of the יָד יְמִינִי. Allow us to forget and do not remind us - תִּשְׁכַּח יְמִינִי. If HKB"H will allow us not to remember אִם לֹא אֶזְכְּרֵכִי, then תִּדְבַּק לְשׁוֹנִי לְחִכִּי – my tongue will stick to my palate so I will not be able to speak lashon harah that caused sin'at chinam that destroyed the 2nd Beit HaMikdash! אִם לֹא COMMA – If not, - if HKB"H allows us to not remember, to forget - then and only then will I be able to אַעֲלֶה אֶת יְרוּשָׁלַם עַל רֹאשׁ שִׂמְחָתִי, to pick up the pieces and raise Yerushalayim to my highest form of joy and enable me to facilitate the Geulah with אֲחִישֶׁנָּה and be zocheh to rebuilding of the 3rd Beit HaMikdash.
It is the opposite way of understanding the psukkim – not remembering, but davka forgetting that intense and paralyzing grief so that we are not incapacitated and can begin working on the tikkun through ivdu et Hashem be'simcha.
Perhaps through this we can understand why the Sefardi nusach is more inundated with reminders of the Beit Hamikdash than the Ashkenazi nusach.
On the whole (not in every case, but predominantly), the Sefardim fared better in galut than the Ashkenazim, there was less persecution relatively speaking. The Ashkenazim did not need extra reminders of the Churban – they were living a daily reality of persecution. The Sefardim, on the other hand, often lived more comfortably in galut and were less persecuted. In order that they not forget the Beit HaMikdash and become too comfortable in their exile, additional reminders were added to their tefilot and greater emphasis placed on the Beit HaMikdash - to keep it alive. And it worked!
Fast forward 1953 years.
Today it is very hard to find somewhere in the world where Jews are persecuted in galut, the pre-WWII or the Soviet kind. If there are, they are few and far between (although this trend is beginning to change, in Europe, the USA, Britian, etc.).
The blessing of "forgetting" has worked TOO WELL! We have for all intents and purposes forgotten the true essence of the Beit HaMikdash. Yes, we are no longer paralyzed and incapacitated as we were when we were marching in chains to Bavel. However, we have taken things to the opposite extreme. The Beit HaMikdash no longer features in our lives in any substantial way, aside from what has become "lip-service" in the tefilot, aside from a short three weeks in the year that we wish would be over sooner.
We are living comfortable lives also here in Eretz Yisrael without the Beit HaMikdash. The numbers amongst us who cannot live normal lives without the Beit HaMikdash are very few. None of us really need the comfort of נַחֲמוּ נַחֲמוּ עַמִּי. We have our comfortable homes, our cars, our technology, supermarkets stuffed to capacity (yes, prices are on the rise), our shuls, communities, entertainment, leisure … what are we missing? We have become what is called וַיִּשְׁמַן יְשֻׁרוּן וַיִּבְעָט.
If we will not proactively remember the Beit HaMikdash ourselves and make it an urgent priority on our agendas, then HKB"H will see to it that we do. He will first give us gentle prods, which turn into not so gentle prods, which eventually end up as slaps in the face, or worse rachmana litzlan!
As everyone knows there is currently pandemonium going on here in Eretz Yisrael.
Am Yisrael love to complain, it's part of our DNA. If you asked someone a brief five years ago when they woke up to a perfect summer's day, deep blue sky, the smell of flowers in the air, birds chirping, trees rustling in the breeze - if everything was "hunky dory"? They would have given you a list of at least ten things that were not. But I can assure that they still would have enjoyed that summer's day. Everything is relative.
Were we happy with the Supreme Court five years ago? Not really, but we still enjoyed normal lives despite it. Were we happy that a Sefardi from Afula could not become the rector of a major university or a fighter pilot? No, but life went on. Were we happy that more and more people were being mechalel Shabbat in Tel Aviv? That there were gay parades in Yerushalayim? That they changed the government forms from Father/Mother to Parent 1/Parent 2? Not at all, but there were worse things. These things were objectionable but "livable". Life could still go on. Avrechim could still study in yeshivas, not do the army, we could still live high quality, comfortable Torah lives in Yehuda and Shomron (yes many bureaucratic issues were infuriating). Were we happy with the biased media coverage in the country? No, but we still listened to the news on the hour and watched the news channels on TV anyway.
So what has changed? When someone wakes up to a beautiful summer's day today, is it different to five years ago? It is the same deep blue sky, the same scent of flowers in the air, the same (perhaps not exactly the same) birds chirping, the (slightly taller) trees rustling in the wind. But this week if someone wakes up to that kind of morning they will not notice the sky, the flowers, the birds or the trees … It is like the second person who had the winning lottery ticket and lost it. The only thing that they experience is distress!
Who can pay attention to blue skies and trees when all the roads in the country are blocked, when doctors are demonstrating against their patients, wearing Handmaid's Tale scarlet dresses as they consult, physically blocking patients from entering parts of the hospital. When hooligans are shattering innocent drivers' car windows with terrified children inside. When air-force pilots refuse to fly their planes. When all normal, acceptable behavior has gone out the window. When every red line has been crossed and anarchy ensues?
Any regular person will give you a hundred explanations for this. The fanatic extremists fueling the demonstrations, the privileged elite trying to preserve their status, the propaganda media fanning the flames, the gullible hordes believing lies, etc. etc.
A not-regular person acknowledges all these things but understands that behind it all and in addition, there is something more profound going on, something historical, something (for want of a better word) apocalyptical!
HKB"H wants His Shechina to dwell in the world, in the Beit HaMikdash. That is why He created the world. We sinned and the first two Batei Mikdash were destroyed. We paid the debt – 1878 years of exile! HKB"H gave us back our land. He gave Am Yisrael abundance and prosperity and removed persecution ALL OVER THE WORLD - unprecedented in almost 2000 years!
Did we embrace this blessing? Did we use it to facilitate HKB"H's will? Or did we repeat our ancestors' mistake וַיִּשְׁמַן יְשֻׁרוּן וַיִּבְעָט, use our newly found prosperity to forget HKB"H and his purpose for creating the world?
So it began with gentle prods, terrorism, wars with the Arab enemy and even here HKB"H blessed us with victory after victory. He gave us back Har Habayit! Did we understand the underlying purpose and work towards achieving it? Or did we give the keys to the Waqf and concentrate rather on our hi-tech startups and exits?
But what can you do, time does not stand still and the Geulah has a finite time line which is drawing to an end and with it, the intensity of the "prods" is increasing. A global pandemic, war in the Ukraine threatening to escalate into a nuclear war, the collapse of global economies, the collapse of every form of government around the world, including the bastions of democracy (which, as a system of government, has proved to be just as fallible and fleeting as communism).
These are like the ten plagues in Egypt for us! We were supposed to learn from them and apply the lesson. When we did not, HKB"H brought the lesson closer to home and this is what we see currently going on in Eretz Yisrael as all the bastions and holy-cows begin to topple and crumble and deteriorate into chaos.
HKB"H is teaching us Who really runs the world. He is telling us to wake up!
The illusions are slowly melting away, one by one. Everything false is crumbling, until all that will be left is the truth. It could be a painless process. If we cooperate, then it will be painless אֲחִישֶׁנָּה. If not it will be בְּעִתָּהּ, forged out of suffering, out of fire כִּי אַתָּה ה' בָּאֵשׁ הִצַּתָּהּ, וּבָאֵשׁ אַתָּה עָתִיד לִבְנוֹתָהּ, from the tefilla Nachem we said in Mincha on Tisha Be'Av based on a passuk in Zecharia (2, 9). What we are seeing in the streets of Eretz Yisrael right now is that fire. What we are seeing all across the world with the rise in antisemitism, unprecedented since WWII, is that fire.
We, who have "no need" to be comforted, need to be reminded how deep our need to be comforted really is. How desperately we need to "get with the program", the REAL program, not the "imaginary", man-made program, that each of us has concocted. Whether it is getting out of serving in the army, whether it is progressive/liberal/idolatry/adultery/abomination, whether it is personal power struggles, whether it is the wish to be like the other nations, whether it is being intoxicated with our own intelligence/strength, whether it is finding reasons not to live in Eretz Yisrael, whether it is living quasi-Torah lives on our terms, not HKB"H's terms, etc.
If we do not, the "fire" will only intensify. We are the masters of the degree of our own suffering. We get to decide how much we want to suffer before we eventually accept the inevitable. If we continue as we are, eventually things will hit rock bottom, which is a good thing in a way, because once you are at rock bottom, there is nowhere left to fall, the only way is up.
The yetzer harah has been let loose, first on the world, and since we didn't wise up, now he is running rampant among us, here in Eretz Yisrael. Only this can explain the inexplicable events unfolding before our eyes.
There is only one way to stop the yetzer harah and this downward spiral and that is to cleave to HKB"H. To return to our Source, to discard our illusions of the world and life and to embrace HKB"H, Who is love.
How do we do that? right now?
We all need to start intensively researching the Lechem Hapanim! No, I'm kidding, not every Neshama is meant to do a tikkun for Beit Garmu.
However, every Neshama does have their own tikkun to do. We all need to start making the Beit Hamikdash feature more prominently in our lives and we do it simply by continuing to do the things we already do, but changing the kavanah while we are doing them.
When the husband prepares the candles/oil for lighting for Shabbat, in addition to thinking to himself "Lichvod Shabbat Kodesh", he should also think "Just like the Kohanim were meitiv the neirot in the Heichal". When the wife lights Shabbat candles, in addition to thinking "Lichvod Shabbat Kodesh", she should also think "Like Sarah, Rivka, Rachel and Leah lit candles in their tent that remained lit an entire week, and like the Kohen lit the Menorah in the Heichal". When the husband gets dressed in Shabbat clothes, in addition to thinking to himself "Lichvod Shabbat Kodesh", he should also think "Just like the Kohanim dressed up in Bigdei Kehuna".
When we say the Korbanot in Shacharit (and Mincha – some Sefardi customs are OK and advisable for Ashkenazim to also adopt), in addition to not skipping them or breezing through them, while we say the parshat HaTamid we should think to ourselves "The Kohen Gadol did this every single day, day in day out, TWICE a day and every time he sustained the "bren" and fervor. How can I apply this to my tefilot?" When we get to Pitum HaKetoret, instead of racing through and jumbling everything around, we should try imagine smelling the Ketoret that pervaded the whole city of Yerushalayim all the way down to Yericho. We need to breathe life into the words, make it a living, breathing entity!
When we go to shul to daven, we need to take a serious look at ourselves. How do we behave in shul? The Beit Knesset is a Mikdash Me'at. Do we behave with awe in shul, or do we treat it like a community center or a country club? Yes, it is good to have friendly bonhomie in shul, but perhaps we should leave the chulin for chatting outside, after we leave and not inside and certainly not during the tefilla. If we were inside the Beit HaMikdash would we be discussing the share market or politics?
However, the most important change we need to make to our lives is to imagine what kind of person we will be when the Beit Hamikdash is rebuilt b"H, once we have already become the Or LaGoyim. How our behavior radiates like a beacon of light, shining outward to all humanity. And become that person.
We do this with the help of the "Smileometer"!
A Smileometer does not measure how much we smile every day (we should be working on improving that too). The Smileometer is a kind of a "Geiger counter" but instead of registering radiation, the Smileometer registers the wideness of HKB"H's smile! Every waking (and sleeping) moment of our lives, in every action we do, active or passive, we need to think to ourselves "Is HKB"H smiling at me right now, or is He saying oy vey!" If the latter, we need to immediately stop what we are doing and do things differently, better! It worked for Yosef HaTzaddik and saved him from eishet Potiphar and will work wonders for us too.
Regardless of what is happening in our lives we need to appreciate that summer's day. The deep blue sky, the scent of flowers in the air, the birds chirping and the leaves rustling in the breeze. We need to be thankful for all HKB"H has given us AND also all the challenges we are faced with, they are two sides of the same coin.
We mistakenly think "I am not a Putin, Biden, Bibi, Yeriv Levin, Simcha Rotman, Yair Lapid. I am just "little old me", without power to influence millions, tens of thousands ….." We are much more powerful than the above people. HKB"H is looking at us, not them. There is only one Putin, one Biden and one Bibi, but there are millions of us! Who has more power? If we are worthy, we will get the leaders we deserve. Our leaders are a reflection of us, nothing more!
If each and every one of us starts consciously and actively "getting with the program" and working to bring the Geulah, it will come speedily, without the travails of בְּעִתָּהּ and then all our prayers, yearning, imagining - will become a living, breathing reality. בבי"א.
