Our Part in the Torah – Ve’Zot Ha’Bracha / Simchat Torah
This shiur is dedicated לעילוי נשמת my dear mother פאשע דבורה בת אליעזר מאיר ז"ל commemorating the shloshim of her passing.
תּוֹרָה צִוָּה לָנוּ מֹשֶׁה מוֹרָשָׁה קְהִלַּת יַעֲקֹב. (דברים לג, ד)
The most glaring question on this, one of the first psukkim we teach to our children, is “Since when is Torah an inheritance?” Chazal repeatedly say that כִּהוּנָהּ and מַלְכוּת are acquired by inheritance only, כִּהוּנָהּ to the descendants of Aharon and מַלְכוּת to the descendants of David. However, Torah? This is not acquired by inheritance וְהַתְקֵן עַצְמְךָ לִלְמֹד תּוֹרָה שֶׁאֵינָהּ יְרוּשָׁה לְךָ (אבות ב, יב). Each person must toil on their own to acquire the כֶּתֶר תּוֹרָה. This was made vividly apparent when Moshe pleaded with HKB”H to appoint his sons as his successors, before he died. HKB”H responded – Yehoshua will succeed you, Torah is not passed down by inheritance!
The Ba’al HaTurim picks up on this and says that this is why the word in the passuk is מוֹרָשָׁה and not יְרוּשָׁה. The word מוֹרָשָׁה does not mean “inheritance”, but rather “destiny”. R’ Bachyei, on the other hand, says that it is davka referring to “inheritance”, not that of the Torah, but rather - inheritance of Eretz Yisrael. By studying the Torah, we will inherit the land. The Ramban says that the addition of the word קְהִלַּת comes to teach us that the best way to study Torah is not solo but in a “community”, with two or more people, discussing, debating, presenting different viewpoints etc. Also, says the Ramban, this comes to include all those who “congregate” together with Am Yisrael, referring to converts.
Since this Shabbat signals the end and a new beginning of a Torah cycle and Simchat Torah is a celebration of the Torah, I would like to devote this shiur to discussing Torah study and more specifically how each of us can acquire their own כֶּתֶר תּוֹרָה.
HKB”H created the Torah long before He created the world, 974 generations before to be exact (שבת פח, ב), or according to the Midrashim (בראשית רבה, בראשית פר' ח; ויקרא רבה מצורע פר' יט; תנחומא פר' וישב) - 2000 years before creating the world. When HKB”H created the world, He used the Torah as a “blueprint” for the Creation אֶסְתַּכֵּל בְּאוֹרָיְתָא וּבָרָא עָלְמָא (זהר ח"ב, קסא, ב). In a previous shiur on Nitzavim-Vayeilech we discussed how the Torah is unlike any man-made text and is infinite in its depth, just as HKB”H is infinite. The Torah, in essence, is the infinite חָכְמָה of HKB"H, the power to build worlds.
We are all descended from the neshamot who were present at Matan Torah on Har Sinai. Genetically encoded into the auditory cortex in our brains are the resounding words אָנֹכִי ה' אֱ-לֹקֶיךָ אֲשֶׁר הוֹצֵאתִיךָ מֵאֶרֶץ מִצְרַיִם... לֹא יִהְיֶה לְךָ אֱלֹהִים אֲחֵרִים עַל פָּנָי, directly from HKB"H. We couldn’t tolerate the intensity of it so we asked Moshe to mediate. The Torah is part of all of us. However, since each of us is an entire "world" on our own, each of us heard it, or “processed” it differently.
Moshe learned the entire Torah directly from HKB”H during his 40 days and 40 nights on Har Sinai. He saw HKB”H writing the letters and he saw the כְּתָרִים on top of the letters – they were all part of the Torah Moshe received. So how do we explain the Gemara (Menachot 28b) which tells how HKB”H “teleported” Moshe ahead in time to the yeshiva of R’ Akiva who was giving a shiur and being posek halachot based on these כְּתָרִים? Moshe couldn’t understand a word that R’ Akiva was saying and this disturbed him very much. Until he heard one of R’ Akiva’s talmidim ask R’ Akiva what the source of the psak was, to which R’ Akiva replied “It is הֲלָכָה לְמֹשֶׁה מִסִּינַי”.
How can that possibly be? How can it be הֲלָכָה לְמֹשֶׁה מִסִּינַי if Moshe himself admitted that he didn’t understand it? Did Moshe “unwittingly” posek the halachot of R' Akiva without realizing that he was doing so? Our passuk above seems to tell us that this indeed was the case. Moshe received the entire Torah on Har Sinai and the Torah we have passed down through the generations is that same Torah (it is one of the Rambam's 13 principles of faith). However, although Moshe heard it and the rest of Am Yisrael heard it, nobody understood this part of it until R’ Akiva came along. They all knew that the כְּתָרִים were an integral part of the Torah, without which the sefer Torah is passul, however it took a R’ Akiva to reveal the purpose and meaning of those כְּתָרִים.
In fact R’ Akiva was also present at Matan Torah, or more accurately, he was a gilgul of a neshama who was physically present at Har Sinai. When R’ Akiva saw the כְּתָרִים, they had meaning to him and to him alone. Everyone else knew about the כְּתָרִים but they didn’t know why they were there.
Why did the entire Am Yisrael have to be present at Matan Torah? Matan Torah could easily have taken place much earlier at the Burning Bush. HKB”H could have revealed the entire Torah to Moshe alone, for 40 days and nights at the סְנֶה and later, after the Exodus, when Am Yisrael had sufficiently purified themselves, Moshe could relate it to them. As it is Am Yisrael heard 8 of the 10 commandments from Moshe’s mouth anyway. So, for two commandments only it was necessary to have this whole ceremony? the lightning, the cloud, the absolute silence all over the world?
And the answer is – it was necessary that all of Am Yisrael be present, because although all of Am Yisrael heard the same sound waves, the same frequencies at the same decibel levels, each individual neshama at Har Sinai “heard” things only their neshama fully understood. Only the neshama of R’ Akiva understood what the כְּתָרִים meant. Only the neshama of R’ Shimon bar Yochai understood the nuances of the Torah that later appeared in the Zohar. Each and every member of Am Yisrael present at Har Sinai was given their own special, “private” piece of the Torah that belonged to them only - it was their חֵלֶק in the Torah and their life purpose to reveal that חֵלֶק to the world. All the neshamot had to be present in order to receive and understand each and every respective חֵלֶק.
In other words, Matan Torah was not an event, it was an event in progress. Yes, the entire Torah was transferred on Har Sinai. Included in this Torah were all the myriad, individual חֲלָקִים that belonged to each different neshama – but in code. Moshe heard it along with the rest of Am Yisrael, but only 1414 years later, R’ Akiva’s neshama revealed the meaning of this specific חֵלֶק to the rest of the world - he "deciphered" the code. Where did R’ Akiva get it from? From Moshe Rabbeinu of course – it was the same Torah that Moshe Rabbeinu heard and transferred, but it was not Moshe’s חֵלֶק to decipher the code of the כְּתָרִים.
Each and every one of us, are gilgulei neshamot of those neshamot present at Matan Torah. We each have our own unique חֵלֶק, our part in the Torah and it is our life’s purpose to decipher and reveal this part to the world. Not everyone’s חֵלֶק is equal in magnitude and depth. We might be gilgulim of prior gilgulim before us, just adding our tiny, fractional portion of the חֵלֶק that is incomplete and requires completion over many generations, or we may be a R’ Shimon bar Yochai whose חֵלֶק is as tremendous and complete as the Zohar is. We may be gilgulim of previous gilgulim who are simply repeating (not adding anything to) that of the previous gilgulim, but instead reviving something that was lost over the generations, due to galut, etc.
After that introduction we can begin the shiur.
The million-dollar question I would like to answer in this shiur is – "What is the correct way to study Torah?" To begin to answer this, I will bring two examples.
First, is R' Akiva mentioned above. We know how R' Akiva began (an illiterate shepherd, descendant of converts) and we know how R' Akiva ended up (one of the greatest Rabbinic icons in Jewish history). What I would like to explore is what his wife Rachel saw in this 40-year-old "simpleton" that caused her to give up her lavish inheritance from her father Kalba Savua, marry an "unknown entity" and live a lonely life of abject poverty, without her husband, for 24 years! Rachel could have had her pick of the many "more eligible" suitors in Am Yisrael, but she chose davka Rebi Akiva (who back then was simple Akiva, without the Rebi). Why?
The answer is that Rachel understood that it is not "nurture" that enables one to acquire כֶּתֶר תּוֹרָה, but "nature" and "drive". It was completely irrelevant what R' Akiva's history was or his level of education, he had the greatest catalyst necessary for acquiring כֶּתֶר תּוֹרָה and that is the drive to realize his spiritual destiny. There was something in R' Akiva's neshama that drove him inexplicably to his destiny. Instead of ignoring or ridiculing this "nudge of the neshama", R' Akiva gave himself fully to it. Even if this meant having to sit at forty years of age with 1st grade kids in a classroom to learn to read and write, or having to live apart from his newlywed wife for 24 years! Something in his neshama pointed him in a specific direction and he trusted his "instinct", his inner voice and went with it, totally! however illogical or inconvenient or even damaging it may have been for him.
The second example is R' Eliezer ben Horkenos. As a child, Eliezer had no aptitude for learning. By modern definition, he may have been dyslexic, ADD, ADHD, or any of the numerous other terms used to describe someone with learning problems. Whatever anyone tried to teach Eliezer went in one ear and out the other. His millionaire father Horkenos decided to employ him in the family farming business, doing physical labor. One day, Horkenos found his son Eliezer, aged 28, weeping bitterly. "What is wrong?" Horkenos enquired. "I want to study Torah!" Eliezer replied. "You? study Torah? You know that is impossible", his father told him. Horkenos suspected that there was another reason behind Eliezer's unease. Perhaps the work he had been allotted was too difficult, so Horkenos switched him to easier labor, but still Eliezer continued to weep bitterly "I want to study Torah!" Against his father's wishes, Eliezer left home and travelled to Yerushalayim to the yeshiva of the Gadol Hador - Raban Yochanan ben Zakai.
Imagine today, if a young man covered from head to toe in tattoos, with a pony tail and a nose ring, who doesn't know how to read, write or speak Hebrew arrived at the office of Yeshivat Brisk and asked to meet with the Rosh Yeshiva because he wants to learn Torah. The secretary would kindly (or perhaps not so kindly?) redirect him down the road to a "ba'alei tshuva" style yeshiva, more "appropriate" for his level. However, Raban Yochanan ben Zakai personally received Eliezer in his chambers and asked why he had asked to see him. Eliezer replied, weeping bitterly, "I want to study Torah!" Raban Yochanan ben Zakai, after asking a few questions, ascertained that Eliezer's knowledge was non existent and, discerning something special in the young man, decided to adopt Eliezer as his own personal project. Realizing his pupil's difficulty, R' Yochanan ben Zakai taught him only one, small thing each week, which Eliezer had to repeat hundreds of times to himself, until the concept eventually sank in. Using this painstaking approach over many years, Eliezer became R' Eliezer who his teacher, Raban Yochanan ben Zakai in Pirkei Avot compares to a בּוֹר סוּד שֶׁאֵינוֹ מְאַבֵּד טִפָּה. From going in one ear and out the other, R' Eliezer became another iconic Rabbinic figure in Jewish history. Like R' Akiva (his pupil), R' Eliezer followed the "nudge of his neshama", experienced inexplicable hardship and poverty (at one point he was eating sand because he had no food), but eventually realized his destiny, the destiny of his neshama on Har Sinai.
We live today in an industrialized society. Gone are the days where education was acquired by personal apprenticeship/mentorship. Instead, we teach new generations by production line, beginning in kindergarten, following through school and ending with university and yeshiva. The curricula are not tailor made to the individual, instead, the individual has to adapt to standard, model curricula. Educational institutions are churning out "template" professionals piecemeal.
While such systems may(?) be effective in producing engineers, lawyers, etc. (that is the topic of another discussion), they are ineffective for Torah study. They silence the "nudge of the neshama", force conformity and suppress individuality.
To study Torah in yeshiva/ulpana today, the best one can hope for is to seek out a framework that most closely matches your individual inclination, but the number of "styles" of frameworks is very limited and does not come close to the concept of personal mentorship. For this reason, thousands, perhaps tens of thousands of potential bnei/bnot Torah are being lost and not realizing their intended (or full) potential and destiny.
When your neshama "nudges" you in the direction of your intended destiny, it can be identified by an "inclination" or a passion for a specific subject or approach. Some people have a natural passion for Halacha – they can learn Halacha morning, noon and night. Others may be more closely attracted to סִפּוּרֵי צַדִּיקִים, learning the middot of our leaders throughout the generations. Some may be drawn to Kabbalah, to Gemara, to Tanach, to Daf Yomi, to בְּעִיּוּן, to Musar, to Aggadeta, to Kodshim … and the list continues.
If you (are brave enough to) tell someone studying full time in a respectable yeshiva that your passion is סִפּוּרֵי צַדִּיקִים, most likely you will be met by ridicule, "סִפּוּרֵי צַדִּיקִים? That's what 2nd grade kids learn in school. How can you compare that to high powered studying of Mishna Brura, Gemara with Rishonim and Acharonim?"
It does not matter which of the above you are drawn to, remember this very important lesson - none is inferior to another.
Whatever your natural attraction is – that is your gateway into Torah. If you are drawn to סִפּוּרֵי צַדִּיקִים, for example, you will inevitably encounter stories like that of Tanur Achnai (see shiur on Kedoshim 2022). When you start reading this story, you will encounter concepts that you have not yet learned, like טֻמְאַת כֵּלִים, and unless you understand them, you cannot possibly understand the story. This will result in you learning the sugya of טֻמְאַת כֵּלִים (which is a purely halachic sugya) and you will enjoy learning it because it "plugs in" with your "passion".
If on the other hand, someone (or some yeshiva/teacher) forces you to go through Shulchan Aruch from beginning to end, sequentially, you will probably never actually ever reach the sugya of טֻמְאַת כֵּלִים. You would probably "throw in the towel" long before you ever reach it, out of "boredom", not perceiving any added value it may have to your passion. Similarly, to studying masechtot of Gemara sequentially. For someone whose passion is Gemara, studying it sequentially may be right up their alley. However, for someone who is interested in סִפּוּרֵי צַדִּיקִים, such an approach is irrelevant. If they pursue their passion of סִפּוּרֵי צַדִּיקִים with drive, they will eventually cover the entire Gemara, not sequentially, but crisscrossing from one masechta to another, a piece here, another piece there – all connected by the common thread of their passion. Similarly, they will cover the entire Shulchan Aruch, etc. – in a different order, but covering it nonetheless. The end result is what counts – that you cover the ground. How you cover it and in which order will (and should) be different for every individual.
I know this to be true, because I have personally experienced it with the Lechem Hapanim. HKB"H has plans for every one of us and it was His plan that I only discover my gateway into the Torah at age 48. Why at such an advanced age and not three decades or more earlier? I have no idea. Probably for the same reason that R' Akiva discovered his "neshama nudge" at age 40 and R' Eliezer at age 28. These are HKB"H's cheshbonot and we have no understanding of them.
What I do know for a fact is that my חֵלֶק in the Torah, which I discovered to be the Lechem Hapanim, has taken me on a (continuing) journey through all the realms of the Torah, from Halacha, to Kabbalah, to Musar, to סִפּוּרֵי צַדִּיקִים and many others, crisscrossing masechtot in the Gemara and other seminal tomes and I am nowhere near approaching covering even a tiny fraction of them. Perhaps it is not my destiny that I cover all of them. This may not be my חֵלֶק in the Torah - to cover all of Shas, Shulchan Aruch, Rishonim, Acharonim, etc. hundreds of times. That was HaRav Kanievsky zt"l's חֵלֶק and I am certainly no HaRav Kanievsky. But on the other hand, HaRav Kanievsky did not discover the chidushim that, with enormous סִיַּעְתָּא דִּשְׁמַיָּא, I have discovered about the Lechem Hapanim. That does not make me smarter than HaRav Kanievsky chas veshalom, it just means we each have a different חֵלֶק in the Torah. Perhaps I am a gilgul of the neshama of Beit Garmu (sometimes I feel like it, but I can never really know) and that my purpose was not to be mechadesh anything about the Lechem Hapanim but rather to "revive" something that was lost, like Otniel ben Knaz revived "forgotten" halachot from the time of Moshe Rabeinu which were lost when Moshe died.
Why has my neshama been inextricably drawn to the Lechem Hapanim and Menachot davka? I cannot explain it, even if it is connected to my profession of baking. There are things here that are deeper than that. Like the fact that my bar mitzva parsha is Tzav, that deals with the Menachot and this was long before I became interested in baking. Like the fact that the English year of my birth is 1965, which is the weight of an Isaron in grams (1965g). There are things at work here that defy understanding. They are a realization of a destiny that was planned long, long ago. And when it is time, the neshama wakes up. If we ignore it (we can choose to ignore it), it may have to wait for another gilgul.
HKB"H used His Torah to create our world and then He gave us that same Torah to us, to Am Yisrael. Each time we realize our חֵלֶק in the Torah, we are participant in Creation.
Each and every one of us is a neshama that was present at Har Sinai and each and every one of us has their own חֵלֶק in the Torah. When we discover it, we should pursue it with a passion, despite what anyone else says.
How do you know if it is your neshama "nudging" you or your yetzer harah? If it is difficult, then it is your neshama. If it is easy, it is your yetzer harah.
When you discover your חֵלֶק in the Torah, seek out others who have a similar passion to you and follow your passion together with them. That is what it means מוֹרָשָׁה קְהִלַּת יַעֲקֹב. Nobody has the identical חֵלֶק to you, everyone's is different, but there may be enough similarities for collaboration and chavruta – and that is the way to pursue and study Torah, not solo. Even R' Shimon Bar Yochai was together with his son in the cave.
This is what David Hamelech meant when he said in the second verse of Tehilim כִּי אִם בְּתוֹרַת ה' חֶפְצוֹ וּבְתוֹרָתוֹ יֶהְגֶּה יוֹמָם וָלָיְלָה (תהילים א, ב). This was the same David Hamelech who said מִכָּל מְלַמְּדַי הִשְׂכַּלְתִּי כִּי עֵדְוֹתֶיךָ שִׂיחָה לִֿי (תהילים קיט, צט), that a truly wise person is someone who learns Torah from every other human being, because every neshama in Am Yisrael, whether they are a HaRav Kanievsky zt"l, or a baker in Karnei Shomron, has their unique חֵלֶק in the Torah that nobody else has and each contribute to the fulfilment of the Creation of the world, by pursuing their חֵלֶק and sharing it with others.
Let us take this lesson into the new yearly cycle of the Torah, starting next week with Breishit. Let us celebrate this Shabbat, on Simchat Torah, the wondrous gift that HKB"H has given every one of us, each in their own way and חֵלֶק, and listen more to our neshama and inner voice and less to the voices of those who may ridicule us.
